blog by arwen

The radio silence of late is due to illness – one of my teeth just decided it was done with me.

I closed out 2009 with a bang, being the Maid of Honor and featured vocalist at my mother’s wedding, becoming certified as an IRS volunteer tax preparer and spending New Year’s Eve at the best dance/art party in NYC that didn’t get shut down. It was hectic and wonderful and exhausting.

And right before it all started, on Thanksgiving eve, I found out that I had somehow cracked a tooth – one of my bottom molars #19. Under the care of my amazing dentist and new periodontists I had no symptoms and I got through the holidays without incident.

Not so much after the New Year hit. The pain started in the early morning hours on 1/1/2010 – I went to sleep as the sun came up and my mouth started to smart. The discomfort over the next week was intermittent and I had scheduled a follow up with my doctor, so I just lived with it.

Another week later, an infection has ravaged my fractured tooth causing an abscess and my face has been swollen for the better part of five days. I saw the doc on Monday and got the meds I need to get better. I will probably have surgery in the next week or two. I’m no stranger to dental surgery, but this is much more involved (titanium screws?) and will take more than six months to complete. What a way to start the New Year!

The frustrating part is that this broken tooth is actually a failed root canal. Twice now this tooth has betrayed me, while no other teeth have anywhere near this level of difficulty maintaining the daily grind.

The good news is that for the first time in my entire life I have real dental insurance. Thank you progressive NY State health care laws allowing Domestic Partners to buy into employee sponsored group plans! Staring down the barrel of several thousands of dollars of work to be done (on a tooth I’ve already spent $2000 on out-of-pocket for the root canal – talk about sunk costs), it is amazing to know that even some of it will be covered.

Now that I have returned to a semi-normal mental state without the throbbing, blinding pain in my face, postings shall resume.

Happy 2010.

Last weekend the financial crisis hit home in a different way when I found myself in the strange position of having to write a sizable check to the IRS for the first installment of my 2009 Estimated Tax. My first response was “barf” – it was a pain in the ass to calculate and represents a big chunk of cash I hate to part with. However, I got over it a bit when I realized that:

A. if there was ever a time that the US Treasury can use my paltry contribution to the nation’s coffers it is now; and

B. since this is the first year I am making a truly livable wage as an independent contractor, I want to avoid any IRS issues by paying on time (especially upon discovering that penalties can be applied for paying late).

In my research, I found this handy list of 101 Tax deductions for bloggers & freelancers that I wanted to pass along for those who are just starting out or in need of a refresher course. As always, internet advice does not replace individualized advice from a qualified professional and I recommend using an accountant who specializes in independent artists.

currently in the middle of week four of the artist’s way which forces you to abstain from any and all reading for one week. i’ve been following the decree pretty strictly but it is HARD! today i remembered that i don’t need to read in order to write, so to satisfy my lust for reading, i will write about it instead.

what has life without reading shown me?

• i love reading – always have – but i never realized how MUCH i actually read nowadays since it is mostly on the computer.
• i’ve come to see that i waste at least two hours a day reading what i will call “casual” virtual content (blogs, op-eds, media of personal interest ).
• i have gotten SO much more done having the reading removed. at the beginning of the week i made a quick & dirty list of random things i could do instead of read and i haven’t even gotten to half of them. i plan to keep it visible to remind me of creative things i can do when i feel the need to break away from the computer screen.
• i never considered that too much reading could be a harm, but i see now the affect it has had on me in the past. i realized i will fill my brain up to capacity unconsciously with other people’s ideas to avoid having to synthesize and release my own into the world – it’s so much easier just to agree or disagree than to speak your own truth.

i am working as a freelancer exclusively now for the first time since (ahem) 2002. it is a MAJOR transition from “going” to work to “having work live with you” in your home space. i find it difficult, so i’m trying to figure out ways to behave myself, stay focused, avoid distractions and create structures for my time & energies to help me give shape to all the ideas  spinning around my head & heart that want to come into corporeal form.

seems like restricting my casual reading would be a good tool to add into the mix of restructuring my life as a freelancer, especially when i think about what i could do with that time instead…

i love little insights like this.

what do you say? “hey world – i’m virtual and i have an opinion…”